Welcome back readers. I hope you have been liking what you're reading so far. I am excited to announce that I will also be posting my book "Trapped" on here as well. I hope to read some comments from you and if you like what you read, feel free to donate.
Chapter 10: Don’t Speak
"Dear diary,
Go piss off you whore! Did I mention I hate group counseling? Well I do and this shit is annoying. It is more like piercing than a needle through my eye. So now you know and I don't need to delve into why. I'm not going to indulge you asshole. Here that dumbass group counselor goes. Time to start our session.
"Taison would you like to share with the group what you do for fun?" asked the group counselor in a chipper voice. Boy he sounds like he’s gay and had one too many cosmos.
The counselor’s name was Eric and he really annoyed me. He was a fat, pudgy, balding man. He had sausages for fingers and probably moonlighted as a luchador wrestler. This guy stood over 6 feet and was built like a heavy tank. I had been going to this mental health group as therapy for a while. It was recommended to me by my friend Judith, so I decided to give it a try. It was the only thing I had been doing before I met back up with Dr. Ronson. I finally decided to answer after a long pause.
"I birdwatch I guess? It's fairly relaxing" I said with a tinge of sarcasm. I wasn't going to tell some group of strangers I like to people watch and I watch women as they leave work, yet I’m too afraid to kidnap them. I like to view people with my binoculars almost like it’s a sport. I could probably surveil everyone in that room with no problem like an FBI agent.
"That sounds fun Taison. A hobby like that requires time and patience. I imagine you have seen almost every bird indigenous to this area” Eric said sounding surprised.
“Well I guess you could say that. I have been doing it for years. It was a hobby my sister and I shared” I said emotionally. Great now they did it they struck a nerve. My sister and I haven’t talked since I moved out of our house a few years ago. She has been quite bitter ever since. I don’t expect her to feel differently, I left our mother when she was most vulnerable. My sister went to live with our oldest aunt. She’s happier there and safer there too. If mom wants to drink and be a junkie she can do it on her own time.
“Taison, is there anything you would like to share with the group. Something you haven’t shared before that could help the group understand you better. Is there anything at all?” Eric asked seriously.
I hope he wasn’t expecting me to talk about the emotional stupid shit that has happened to me in the past. Here we go again, the flashbacks are starting. There was this time I remember my mom was so high out of her mind on cocaine, she tried to smother us. No joke, she literally came up to us while we were sleeping, and was going to hold a pillow over my sister’s face. She said we were abominations and that we were a product of Satan. That day I learned to sleep with one eye open when I’m remotely near my mother. Shit the flashbacks were happening again. I also remember getting pushed down the stairs by my father when he was drunk and he merely blamed it on an accident. Ya sure the stairs tripped me, those evil assholes. I couldn’t share anything about me, these people would think I was crazy, and they were the saner ones.
“No nothing to share today. Unless you want to know how I feel about TV programming. They’re getting rid of all the popular TV programs to bring in crap they think will be popular. What the television industry doesn’t understand is our viewing habits have moved to online streaming. They want to get rid of Nashville, American Idol, and other shows because of ratings. The ratings can suck it!” I said emphatically. If I didn’t sound crazy before I sure did now.
“Thank you Taison! So you’re angry with the cable company and the television industry? I guess it’s time to write some lengthy letters and send them via e-mail. It might be therapeutic?”
Thanks for the offer doc, I might try that, but it might not do any good. As far as sharing any personal things that have happened or things bugging me, you’re going to have to try harder” I said viciously with a cocky smirk. This guy was funny and oh look it’s time to go. Diary let’s get out of here before I kick Eric’s ass.
Chapter 11: Tick, Tick Boom (6 years earlier)
“Dear Diary,
You know the drill! Rot in hell you piece of crap. I still remember when I first became exposed to explosions and blood. It excited me and it brought out sheer jubilation in me.
I was sitting in chemistry class listening to a boring lecture about combustible elements. It was actually quite boring, but I was close to failing science. I needed a good grade on the next quiz and test to bring my grade up to a steady C. Mr. Robinson would not shut the hell up though. It’s like he was in love with the topic. I wondered if he cooked meth in his spare time. He even talked about how they used chemicals safely in TV shows and movies. Frankly it was rather boring, but I idly sat back and let him incessantly babble.
“Alright class, we’re going to get into pairs of two, and we’re going to do our lab for the day. Now pick carefully, because the person you work with will have to do half the work, and you both receive the same grade” said Mr. Robinson
Who was I going to choose? This wasn’t an easy task at all. “Hey Taison, would you like to be partners with me?” asked Ashley Harrison. I was thrown back by this. Had Ashley just asked if I wanted to be partners? She was a cheerleader and played on the lacrosse team. I wasn’t sure if she had some sort of motive for asking me or if she really just wanted to work with me.
“Now class, you must find two elements that work together in harmony, and create an explosive reaction. You can only use two elements and nothing else” You have 30 minutes and your time starts now. Please don’t blow up my lab” Mr Robinson said with a smile, like it was a joke. In a barely audible whisper he said “but accidents happen”. I wish he wouldn’t have said that or asked us to do this experiment. I could do a lot of different experiments.
“Hey Ashley, I think we should do a reaction with sugar and potassium chlorate. If you use a gummy bear, it looks like you’re putting it to death” I said sounding excited.
“Ok we can try it, it actually sounds fun” Ashley said in amazement like a deer in the headlights.
“Hey Mr. Robinson, we need gummy bears and potassium chlorate” I said assertively and quickly. Of course he had to approve the experiment before you began and your time started.
“That’s an explosive combination. Are you and your partner able to do the experiment and lab safely and efficiently” said Mr. Robinson sounding extremely worried.
“Of course we can or I wouldn’t have asked for the materials” I said cockily.
“Remember to only use 60 milliliters of potassium per every gummy bear. If you use too much the glass will break” said Mr. Robinson with a worried look, as he handed us our items.
“ok so let’s get started. Our time is clicking down. You have to get the potassium chlorate boiling. Can you do that quickly” she looked at me seriously and with almost a pleading look.
I knew she needed a good grade on the next few labs and on her next test to get a B for the 2nd quarter. I would do anything in my power to help. I got the potassium chlorate to a rolling boil, but I forgot to tell Ashley one thing. i added too much potassium chlorate on purpose and now I just added three gummy bears. Suddenly, the test tube exploded and Ashley got a severe cut on her right hand trying to shield herself. She would have got glass in her eyes too if she wasn’t wearing safety glasses. As the blood slowly trickled down, Mr. Robinson quickly rushed over.
"Ashley, here's a gauze pad and some bandage tape.
Please go to the nurse now. Taison please take her there" said Mr. Robinson sounding worried. He almost looked like this was his first time seeing blood and he was going to puke or faint. What a pussy!
Since that happened we both received an A on our lab. It was an A by default for an injury and creating an explosion. Ashley was overjoyed by this and from that point on. We maintained casual contact throughout high school.
Chapter 12: Spin me right round (Present Day)
“Dear Diary,
Why do I even bother! Maybe I’m getting better or maybe I’m getting worse. I haven’t figured it out yet honestly. The doc thinks I should take meds, so she has me on Lithium and Cymbalta. I’m not sure if it will help yet, I guess I have to give it a few weeks to see results.
Ya I have heard that one before and that’s a bunch of bureaucratic bull crap. Of course this was after my second session surprise surprise. I wasn't sure if she thought I was a severe case or her new lab rat. I did some research on Lithium and it has some severe side effects, Cymbalta not so much. Some of those side effects is extreme tiredness, vertigo, nausea, and lack of appetite. I had a cupboard full of food, but no ambition to cook it. I felt like a zombie, and for the first time ever, I considered that getting help was the worst idea ever. I had no violent or suicidal ideations, but I would walk in the room and forget what I was getting. I also was having really bad nightmares and hallucinations. These weren't any normal hallucinations, they were visual and auditory. I thought I heard Jamaican music playing loudly at my very white next door neighbors house. I pounded on the walls to turn it down, but it was playing at my house. I even thought that my collection of action figures came to life. This Lithium was doing a doozy on me and I didn't want anyone to see me like this. I felt like I was a walker on the hunt for brains. I really needed to tell the doc about this before things got worse. I was seeing her today at 3pm she'll help me.
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